MASS SCHEDULE: 18 - 25 August
SAINT
JOSEPH CHURCH
GIRARDVILLE

Saturday, 17 August
Vigil of Sunday
05:30 pm — JULIA, MICHAEL and MARY CLARKE
by the Clarke Trust

Sunday, 18 August
20th Sunday in Ordinary Time
11:30 am — In honor of OUR LADY OF KNOCK
by the LAOH

Monday, 19 August
St. John Eudes, priest (OptMem)
08:00 am — JOSEPH SALVATORE
by Marilyn Stefanski

Tuesday, 20 August
St. Bernard, abbot, doctor (OblMem)
08:00 am — JEAN STATUTIS MAJIKAS
by Henry and Eileen Wayne

Wednesday, 21 August
St. Pius X, pope (OblMem)
08:00 am — JOHN RICE Jr.
by OPM

Thursday, 22 August
The Queenship of the Blessed Virgin Mary (OblMem)
07:00 pm — WILLIAM LABIE
by his wife, Edna, and family

Friday, 23 August
St. Rose of Lima, virgin (OptMem)
08:00 am — IDA BELFIORE ZANGARI
by Antoinette Dangelo Osborne

Saturday, 24 August
St. Bartholomew, apostle (Fst)
08:00 am — ROBERT J. SMITH
by John and Barbara Petrousky
Vigil of Sunday
05:30 pm — TOMMY BALSAVAGE
by John and Joanie Smolock and girls

Sunday, 25 August
21st Sunday in Ordinary Time
10:00 am — WILLIAM [“Billy”] QUINN
by Alfred and Anne Zielinski
11:30 am — God’s blessings: BISHOP WILLIAM J. WALTERSHEID
by Jim and Eva Gontis

 MASS SCHEDULE: 18 - 25 August
SAINT
VINCENT dePAUL CHURCH
GIRARDVILLE 
     

Saturday, 17 August
Vigil of Sunday
04:00 pm — ALBERT GILLIS
by M/M John Gillis

Sunday, 18 August
20th Sunday in Ordinary Time
08:30 am — CLARISSA DeCARLO
by the James Connell family

Saturday, 24 August
Vigil of Sunday
04:00 pm — WILLIAM PUCETAS
by his wife, Muriel, and son, William

Sunday, 25 August
21st Sunday in Ordinary Time
08:30 am — Deceased: DeMARKIS and ZAGAR FAMILIES
by Lou DeMarkis Jr.

stjos/stvdp: 08.18.2013 - 01


COLLECTION TOTALS FROM LAST WEEKEND:
10 / 11 AUGUST


Saint Joseph Parish
:
Receipts for parish purposes: $737.00 from the Sunday envelopes; $41.00 from the plate; $78.00 from the Dues envelopes; $90.00 from the Building maintenance envelopes; $89.00 from the loose.
Total: $1,035.00
Receipts for non-parish purposes: $3.00 from the Missionary Cooperative envelopes
Analysis: When one deducts from the total of the receipts for parish purposes ($1,035.00) our weekly financial obligation to the Diocese, i.e. assessments ($269.31), plus our weekly premium for various insurances ($491.15), plus our weekly subsidy to Trinity Academy ($358.17), the sum total of which is $1,118.63, one sees that ($83.63) is available from this collection for operating the parish. THIS IS A DEFICIT!

Saint Vincent dePaul Parish:
Receipts for parish purposes: $843.00 from the Sunday envelopes; $46.00 from the plate; $50.00 from the Dues envelopes; $167.00 from the Building maintenance envelopes; $53.00 from the loose.
Total: $1,159.00
Receipts for non-parish purposes: $47.00 from the Missionary Cooperative envelopes
Analysis: When one deducts from the total of the receipts for parish purposes ($1,159.00) our weekly financial obligation to the Diocese, i.e. assessments ($231.00), plus our weekly premium for various insurances ($322.56), plus our weekly subsidy to Trinity Academy ($250.98), the sum total of which is $804.54, one sees that $354.46 is available from this collection for operating the parish.

CONFESSION SCHEDULE THIS WEEK

Because Fr. Connolly will be on vacation this week,
there will be no regularly scheduled Confessions.
Stay in the State of Grace and make a good Act of Contrition.
If you want to go to Confession, check with Fr. Brennan before or after Mass.
Father has agreed to take all of the Masses up to and including 24 August.

EXPOSITION OF THE BLESSED SACRAMENT

For reason given above,
we have not scheduled Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament.
Why not just “pay an informal visit” to the Lord in the tabernacle this week?

REST YOUR WEARY BONES
You have probably noticed that we have purchased two benches. One is outside St. Joseph Chapel and one is outside St. Vincent dePaul Church / Rectory. Many thanks to Bob Getzey for assembling them at his home in Schuylkill Haven and transporting them up to Girardville. If anyone would like to “sponsor” one or both of these benches, perhaps in memory of a loved one, feel free to make us an offer we can’t refuse. In return, we’ll put a little plaque on the bench. These benches are safe to sit on. Feel free! However, lest any scoundrel should think of swiping them, please be forewarned: These benches might be rigged to explode if moved off the property. Not worth it!

stjos/stvdp: 08.18.2013 - 02


MICHAEL JOSEPH HIGGINS Jr
is a son of Michael J. [Sr] and Mary T. (O’Connor) Higgins
and a member of St. Anthony of Padua Parish, Washington DC.
AMANDA MARGARET MOHAN
is a daughter of Francis P. [MD] and Stella (Modrijan) Mohan
and a member of St. Joseph Parish, Girardville PA.
The two of them entered into the sacred covenant of Matrimony on Saturday, 17 August 2013, within a Nuptial Mass celebrated at St. Joseph Church.
Michael and Amanda made a solemn promise in the presence of Jesus Christ and His Bride, the Church: (a) that,” forsaking all others”, they will be utterly faithful; (b) that, “not knowing what lies before them”, they will preserve the bond between them so long as they both shall live; (c) that they will be open to the gift of children, if and as it pleases God, and will raise them in holy obedience to Jesus and the Church.
They sealed the promise with the exchange of blest rings and a holy kiss. In Holy Communion, they received the Body and Blood of Him Who lives always to pour Himself out to His Holy Bride.

May the Heavenly Father, in Whom Mike and Amanda place their trust, give them strength in the years to come and, in the end, may He receive them to Himself.
May the Holy Mother, Seat of Wisdom and Cause of Our Joy, be their constant intercessor before her Divine Son, that they may have wise and joyful hearts.
Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Higgins!

WILLIAM W. SCRANTON, Congressman from Pennsylvania (1961-63), Governor of Pennsylvania (1963-67) and US Ambassador to the United Nations (1976-77) died at the age of 96. A memorial service was held for him this past week at Covenant Presbyterian Church, Scranton PA. He had discussed funeral arrangements with his pastor. One of his requests was that, when it came time for the Lord’s Prayer to be recited, the phrase “Thy Kingdom come” would be changed to “Thy democracies come”. (I’m not making this up! I read it in the newspaper.) Please understand: I have nothing whatsoever against the late Governor Scranton. In fact, I always liked him and admired him. I think he was a decent man and an honest politician, but, I must say, he left an awful lot to be desired as a theologian! Apparently, the Governor thinks that God is the Chief Executive Officer of a democracy! This implies that God is elected by His creatures and that He needs a legislature of some sort to channel laws to Him for His signature and that the legislature can override Him in case He vetoes one of their proposals and that there is a Supreme Court of sorts that can rule on whether or not God’s decisions conform to some sort of Celestial Constitution. I guess it also means that, if God doesn’t behave, He can be impeached and removed from office. (Come to think of it, this concept of God is Liberal Protestantism taken to its logical conclusion.) All I can say to that is this: “Good grief, dear Governor! Are you serious? Well, I presume you have changed your mind, now that you have shuffled off this mortal coil and had an encounter with the King! I wish you the best in the next life. And, by the way: LONG LIVE CHRIST THE KING! (I would choke if I tried to say “Long live Christ the President!”)

stjos/stvdp: 08.18.2013 - 03



THIS IS A PRINT-OUT OF A “WEB COUPON” GOOD FOR A FIFTY-DOLLAR DISCOUNT ON AN ABORTION — BUT IT IS GOOD ON SUNDAYS ONLY!!
I realize that, as a serious Catholic Christian, I have an obligation to moderate my anger and to curb my contempt!
I have an obligation not to say “bad words” and — what is more difficult — not even to think “bad words” towards my fellow human beings.
I have an obligation to give people the benefit of the doubt — to presume, for example, that some people just don’t realize that abortion is wicked. (As time goes by, I find it more and more difficult to make that presumption.)
But I am as certain in my conscience as I can possibly be that anger, contempt and outrage are entirely appropriate emotions when coming across a Sunday-discount coupon for an abortion!
When we encounter something outrageously evil, we are supposed to ask ourselves “What would Jesus do?” So, what’s the answer to this hypothetical question? What would Jesus do if He were walking down the street and came across a clinic that performed abortions? And, just to rub salt in the wounds, what if the proprietor of the clinic were to offer as an incentive a $50.00 discount on Sundays to anyone who wanted to kill an unborn child?
I am quite certain we would not see “Jesus meek and mild”. I am quite certain we would see the Jesus who cursed the fig tree, the Jesus Who made a whip out of cords in order to expel the scoundrels who were profaning His Father’s Temple, the Jesus Who ordered the demons to “come out of him!”, the Jesus Who commanded the storm at sea to “muzzle yourself”, the Jesus on Whose thigh are inscribed the words, “KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS”.
I am quite certain that Jesus, walking down the street and passing an abortion clinic, would, at the very least, place a curse upon it.
We are all at danger of losing our sense of moral outrage in the face of widespread, legalized, taxpayer-funded abortion. I think, unfortunately, that most of us have already lost our sense of moral outrage. I beg God to see to it that I never lose mine and that you never lose yours.
Keep ever in mind: Abortion is an unspeakable evil. Persons who perform abortions are unspeakably wicked persons. Politicians who promote abortion are, likewise, unspeakably wicked persons. But what about persons who put pro-abortion politicians into office? I’m referring to persons who knowingly and deliberately vote for the pro-abortion candidate when they have the option to vote for the pro-life candidate. Yes, we must dare to say it: Unless he is profoundly stupid or misinformed, then the pro-abortion voter is also a wicked person! No one who performs, promotes or supports abortion will ever see God face to face — unless, of course, he repents before he dies and is restored to God’s friendship. That is the God’s honest truth and it must be said!

stjos/stvdp: 08.18.2013 - 04



MARY, EXTERMINATRIX OF ALL HERESIES

That is the title of this interesting Marian icon. In case the word “exterminatrix” is unfamiliar to you, please note that it is simply the feminine form of “exterminator”. (To see this icon in color, go to the parish website and click on the link for this weekend’s bulletin.)
In order to appreciate what this icon is trying to convey, we must put aside our sophistication and appreciate the simplicity of the image and the profundity of the message. We see a Very Tall Woman holding a club. We see two “little people” clinging to the Very Tall Woman’s skirt. One of the “little people” looks like an adult woman and the other one is obviously a little boy. Both of them are “little ones” compared to the Very Tall Woman. We notice that the Very Tall Woman is wearing a crown. She must be a Queen! There is a halo around her head. She must be a Holy Queen! We notice a demon standing next to the Holy Queen. He has webbed feet, horns and ugly wings. He is holding a thin pointed stick. He has his right claw on the little boy’s shoulder. But you can bet your bottom dollar that the demon is going to remove his claw from the boy’s shoulder because the Holy Queen is about to clobber him (the demon) with a club! We strongly suspect that the Holy Queen is broadly hinting to the demon that, once he lets go of the little boy, he had better go to Hell. (Yes, lest you didn’t know it, good Catholics are definitely allowed — even encouraged — to tell Satan and his demons to go to Hell!
The Holy Queen Mother protects her little ones from the poisonous lies of the demons.
The serpent poured water like a river out of his mouth after the woman, to sweep her away with the flood. But the earth came to the help of the woman, and the earth opened its mouth and swallowed the river which the dragon had poured from his mouth. Then the dragon was angry with the woman, and went off to make war on the rest of her offspring, on those who keep the commandments of God and bear testimony to Jesus. And he stood on the sand of the sea (Rev 12:15-17).
As you know, the water that flows from the serpent’s mouth is a symbol of the lies that Satan wants us to believe. He told Eve that, if she ate the forbidden fruit, she would be like God. That was the original Big Whopper! He continues to vomit out his lies. He prowls about the world, seeking the ruin of souls.
Satan and his demons vomit out the lies that abortion and artificial contraception and homosexuality are perfectly fine and dandy. They vomit out the lie that there is no such thing as “the Lord’s Day” and that going to Mass is a waste of time. And, occasionally, they rehash the old lies that God does not exist or that all religions are equally true. Many persons swallow Satan’s vomit. But those who are faithful to the Catholic Church are under Mary’s protection. She is the EXTERMINATRIX OF ALL HERESIES. She wields her powerful club against the enemy. She crushes the head of the ancient serpent.
To what can we compare our Holy Queen Mother Mary? To what can we compare our Holy Mother the Catholic Church? Think of a Mother Grizzly nursing her cubs. Think of the foolish person who tries to snatch one of those cubs. Holy Mother Mary and Holy Mother Church are fierce and unrelenting against those who would harm their children.

Under thy protection
we seek refuge,
Holy Mother of God;
despise not our petitions
in our necessities,
but from all dangers
deliver us always,
O Virgin Glorious and Blessed.

stjos/stvdp: 08.18.2013 - 05


 VICTIM ASSISTANCE COORDINATOR

The Diocese of Allentown provides assistance to anyone who, as a minor, was sexually abused by a priest, deacon, or employee / volunteer of the diocese / parish. Parents, guardians, children, and survivors of sexual abuse are invited and encouraged to contact the Diocese of Allentown for more information about this program. The fullness of compassion should be extended to these victims by the Church.

Victim Assistance Coordinator
Confidential Telephone Number
(800) 791-9209

To learn more about the Diocese of Allentown’s Youth Protection Programs, Sexual Abuse Policy, and Code of Conduct, please visit www.allentowndiocese.org and click on “Youth Protection” in the upper right hand corner of the page.

SOME PARISHIONERS ARE CURIOUS as to how it came to be that St. Joseph Church, Girardville, was chosen to be the venue for the regional Confirmation that is scheduled for 26 November 2013. I shall be happy to tell you how that happened. Let me give you two versions of what happened. One of them is true. The other one is interesting. Choose the one you like.
Everyone agrees that the following is true.
On Monday, 05 August, Frs. Bambrick, Connolly and Finlan met in St. Mauritius Rectory, Ashland, and sat at the dining-room table for a light collation. Among other things, we discussed the venue for Confirmation. Fr. Finlan thought it best to withdraw Frackville from consideration, because of the limited seating capacities of his three churches. This narrowed it down to Ashland and Girardville. But what happened next? That’s where the two stories diverge!
Version #01
Frs. Bambrick and Connolly being unable to come to agreement, the tension started to build. In order to prevent fisticuffs, Fr. Finlan wisely suggested prayer. All three priests then knelt down at the dining-room table. Fr. Connolly chanted the “Come Holy Ghost” in Greek, after which Fr. Bambrick chanted it in Latin, after which Fr. Finlan chanted it in Lithuanian. The chanting having ceased, there was deep silence. The silence was followed by a rushing wind. And then a pure white dove descended from “God knows where” and sat on Fr. Connolly’s head. This was the sign all three of us were looking for and, so, it was clear to one and all that God wants the 2013 Confirmation to be in Girardville.
Version #02
Fr. Connolly, having emptied the coffee pot and needing to go to the bathroom, said to Fr. Bambrick: “Hey, how about if we toss a coin?” Fr. Bambrick immediately took a quarter out of his pocket and handed it to Fr. Finlan. Fr. Finlan flipped it and said, “Call it!” Fr. Bambrick said, “Heads!” Fr. Finlan uncovered the coin and it was “Tails”. That settled it! God apparently wants the 2013 Confirmation to be in Girardville.
The following is also certified as true.
The decision having been made that Girardville was “it”, Fr. Connolly needed to decide whether the Confirmation should be in St. Vincent dePaul Church or St. Joseph Church. One reason in favor of choosing StVdP was that the last Confirmation in StVdP was in 2004, whereas the last one in StJos was in 2010. So, one could argue that it was StVdP’s “turn”. I really thought about it and decided that it would be better to have it in St. Joseph Church, so that we would not run the risk of overcrowding.
Always remember: In any given parish, everybody — and his grandmother — has an opinion on just about anything you can think of, but the final decision is up to the pastor and he does the best he can. So, don’t complain! Or, if you do complain, please do so under your breath.

stjos/stvdp: 08.18.2013 - 06


 Employment Opportunity
Advancement Director
Trinity Academy

Trinity Academy, Shenandoah, is currently seeking an Advancement Director to plan, coordinate,
and manage marketing and enrollment and to assist with fundraising programs.
This is a full-time, 12-month position.
He / she will report to the Principal.

Qualifications are:
• Strong knowledge of the community preferred
• Excellent oral and written communication skills
• Strong managerial skills and the ability to balance numerous ongoing projects
• Excellent time-management and planning skills
• Strong leadership and team-building skills
• Ability to appreciate and communicate a passion for Catholic elementary education
• Understanding of Catholic Identity
• Bachelor’s degree preferred
• Proficiency with Microsoft Office and the Internet

Interested persons should mail a cover letter and a current resume to:
Sister Mary Ann Spaetti
233 West Cherry Street
Shenandoah PA 17976-2210
Alternately, cover letter and resume may be emailed to: mspaetti@trinitymatters.com
Sister Mary Ann can be reached at the school: 570-462-3927 x4
THE FLOWER ARRANGEMENT in front of the statue of the Blessed Mother in St. Vincent dePaul Church was placed there for the Solemnity of the Assumption in loving memory of Blase J. Draugelis by his family.
TRIDENTINE MASS (Extraordinary Form) next Sunday (25 Aug) in St. Joseph Church.
As is usual on the last Sunday of the month, when we have a Tridentine Mass, there will be a “regular Mass” (Ordinary Form) at 10:00 am in St. Joseph Chapel.
THE ANNUAL DIOCESAN ANNIVERSARY MASS CELEBRATION will be held on Sunday, 22 September 2013 at the Cathedral of St. Catharine of Siena, 1875 West Turner St., Allentown, PA 18104. Bishop John Barres will begin the celebration at 03:00 pm. We cordially invite couples celebrating five, twenty-five, forty, fifty, sixty or sixty plus years of marriage to this special event. Please register online at http://www.allentowndiocese.org/anniversarymass or refer to the A.D. Times for a registration form or request a form through email at MFLF@allentowndiocese.org. The form must be completed and returned to the Office of Marriage & Family Life Formation, Attn: Anniversary Mass, 900 S. Woodward Street, Allentown, Pa. 18103. The deadline for registration is 06 September 2013.
THE A.D. TIMES, newspaper of the Diocese of Allentown, is using a new subscriber database. If you are subscriber and did not receive the August 1 issue, please contact the paper at adtimes@allentowndiocese.org.

stjos/stvdp: 08.18.2013 - 07



 THINGS TO THINK ABOUT
WHEN YOU ARE SERIOUSLY IN NEED OF
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT

• One tequila! Two tequila! Three tequila! Floor!
• Atheism is a non-prophet religion.
• If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
• I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?"
She said, “If I told you, that would defeat the purpose!”
• What if there were no hypothetical questions?
• If a deaf child signs naughty words, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
• If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself,
is it considered a hostage situation?
• Is there another word for “synonym”?
• Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
• What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
• If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
• Would a fly without wings be called a “walk”?
• Why do they lock gas-station bathrooms?
Are they afraid that someone will break in and clean them?
• If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or is he naked?
• Are vegetarians allowed to eat animal crackers?
• If the police arrest a person who is mute,
do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
• Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
• How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
• What was the best thing before sliced bread?
• One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
• How is it possible to have a civil war?
• If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
• If you ate both pasta and antipasto at the same meal, would you still be hungry?
• If you try to fail but, instead, you succeed, which have you done?
• Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?
• If it’s legal to shoot deer during deer season,
why isn’t it legal to shoot tourists during tourist season?
• Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
• If you spin an Oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented?
• Can an atheist get insurance against “acts of God”?
• Why do some restaurants have signs, “Guide dogs permitted”?
The dogs can't read and their owners are blind!

stjos/stvdp: 08.18.2013 - 08


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