MASS SCHEDULE: 31 OCTOBER 07 NOVEMBER 2010
SAINT
JOSEPH CHURCH
GIRARDVILLE


Saturday, 30 October
05:30 pm — SPECIAL INTENTION
by Bob and Anna Smith

Sunday, 31 October
31st Sunday in Ordinary Time
11:30 am — HELEN SWEENEY CANAVAN
by George, Bob and Ida Mae Canavan

Monday, 01 November
All Saints (Sol)
08:00 am — JOSEPH and ANNA BALULIS
by Jim and Cindy Coyle

Tuesday, 02 November
All Souls: The Commemoration of All the Faithful Departed
04:00 pm — ANNA SCIARRONE BARBETTI
by Barbara Sciarrone Kasper
07:00 pm — PAUL and CAMILLE TEGANO
by their family

Wednesday, 03 November
St. Martin dePorres, religious (OptMem)
08:00 am — FLORIE and SOPHIE (Piccolo) PANACIO
by their daughter, Argia

Thursday, 04 November
St. Charles Borromeo, bishop (OblMem)
08:00 am — ELANORE (Tegano) FOLINO
by her cousin, Joseph Tegano

Friday, 05 November
Weekday
08:00 am — THERESA GANNON
by her nephew, John

Saturday, 06 November
Weekday
08:00 am — DECEASED: StJosPar Memorial Society
by StJosPar
Vigil of Sunday
05:30 pm — PENELOPE (Rowan) MURPHY (of County Mayo)
by Rosalie Kuzma

Sunday, 07 November
32nd Sunday in Ordinary Time
11:30 am — JOSEPH C. SCIARRONE
by Ann McKeown

 MASS SCHEDULE: 31 OCTOBER 07 NOVEMBER 2010
SAINT
Vincent dePAUL CHURCH
GIRARDVILLE

                      
Saturday, 30 October
Vigil of Sunday
04:00 pm — JOSEPH CHIKOTAS
by Anna Chikotas

Sunday, 31 October
31st Sunday in Ordinary Time
08:30 am — JOHN FEENEY
by Frank and Rose Popeck

Monday, 01 November
All Saints (Sol)
07:00 pm — MARGARET KONAS CHASE
by the Petrousky and the Wascavage families

Tuesday, 02 November
All Souls: The Commemoration of All the Faithful Departed
08:00 am — KATHRYN SELINSKY LUPPINO
by James and Marie Cairns and Angela
12:00 noon — PAULINE FRITZ CONNOLLY (103rd anniversary of birth)
by her son, Edward

Wednesday, 03 November
St. Martin dePorres, religious (OptMem)
07:00 pm — JOSEPH C. CHIARETTI
by M/M Vincent Gormas

Thursday, 04 November
St. Charles Borromeo, bishop (OblMem)
06:30 pm — DECEASED: HOLY ROSARY SOCIETY
by the HRS

Friday, 05 November
Weekday
05:00 pm — COLETTA BARONE BROWN
by Joseph T. Cescon (+) and family

Saturday, 06 November
Vigil of Sunday
04:00 pm — ALBERT, ADELE, JEROME and KRISTIN YESALAVAGE
by Michael and Peggy Yesalavage

Sunday, 07 November
32nd Sunday in Ordinary Time
08:30 am — JOSEPH C. CHIARETTI
by his wife, Alice

stjos/stvdp: 10.31.2010 - 01

COLLECTION TOTALS FROM LAST WEEKEND:
23 / 24 OCTOBER


Saint Joseph Parish
:
Receipts for parish purposes: $1,388.00 from the Sunday envelopes; $96.00 from the second collection (plate); $45.00 from the Dues envelopes; $145.00 from the Fuel envelopes; $76.00 from the loose.
Total: $1,750.00
Receipts for non-parish purposes: $233.00 from the World Mission Sunday envelopes
Analysis: When one deducts from the total of the receipts for parish purposes ($1,750.00) our weekly financial obligation to the Diocese, i.e. assessments ($329.54), plus our weekly premium for property and casualty insurance ($464.00), plus our weekly subsidy to Trinity Academy ($358.17), the sum total of which is $1,151.17, one sees that $598.83 is available from this collection for operating the parish.


Saint Vincent DePaul Parish:
Receipts for parish purposes: $883.00 from the Sunday envelopes; $72.00 from the second collection (plate); $24.00 from the Building Maintenance envelopes; $85.00 from the Fuel envelopes; $65.00 from the loose.
Total: $1,129.00.
Receipts for non-parish purposes: $203.00 from the World Mission Sunday envelopes
Analysis: When one deducts from the total of the receipts for parish purposes ($1,129.00) our weekly financial obligation to the Diocese, i.e. assessments ($229.38), plus our weekly premium for property and casualty insurance ($282.46), plus our weekly subsidy to Trinity Academy ($250.98), the sum total of which is $762.82, one sees that $366.18 is available from this collection for operating the parish.

 CONFESSION SCHEDULE THIS WEEK

Wednesday, 03 November
02:30 to 03:30 pm
St. Vincent dePaul Church

Thursday, 04 November
05:30 to 06:30 pm
St. Vincent dePaul Church

Friday, 05 November
06:30 to 07:30 pm
St. Joseph Chapel

 EXPOSITION OF THE BLESSED SACRAMENT

Wednesday, 03 November
02:00 to 04:00 pm
St. Vincent dePaul Church
(Scripture Rosary at about 03:40 pm)

Friday, 05 November
06:00 to 08:00 pm
St. Joseph Chapel
(Vespers and Chaplet of Divine Mercy at about 07:30 pm)

I suspect that there are a good number of Catholics in Girardville who don’t know what “Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament” means. Perhaps you should tell them. Try to bring it up in conversation. Clue in the clueless.

stjos/stvdp: 10.31.2010 - 02


THE MASS INTENTION BOOK FOR 2011 will “open” on Tuesday, 02 November. If you have any requests for Mass intentions on particular dates, Ginny will try to accommodate you. Feel free to stop by the Rectory, Tuesday to Friday. (Ginny would appreciate it if you would not come on Monday for this purpose.) Best time to come is between 11:00 am and 05:00 pm. It helps if you have your requests written down on a piece of paper, so that we get the spelling correct.
TRIDENTINE MASS: The Mass at 11:30 am today (31 Oct) will be celebrated according to the Extraordinary Form. Please note that, in the Tridentine Ordo, the last Sunday of October is observed as the Feast of Christ the King.
Everyone who attends the Tridentine Mass today is cordially invited over to St. Joseph Rectory afterwards for some lunch and socializing!
MY APOLOGIES to the members of the LAOH who were meeting in the Sheridan Room this past Wednesday only to find that I had arranged for our volunteer photographer to use that room in order to take the individual photos of the Confirmandi. As you may be certain, this conflict was entirely inadvertent. If I had realized that the LAOH had the room reserved, I would have made some other arrangement. Please forgive me!
ALL SAINTS DAY (01 Nov) is not a Holyday of Obligation THIS year (2010) because it falls on a Monday. Nevertheless, we strongly encourage you to attend Mass on All Saints day.
ALL SOULS DAY (02 Nov) has never been a Holyday of Obligation, but devout Catholics for centuries have made an effort to attend Mass on that day as a special act of intercession for the faithful departed.
IN REGARD TO THESE TWO RECOMMENDATIONS: I learned a 75 cent word in the Seminary. The word is SUPEREROGATION! It means “the doing of something that is above and beyond what one is strictly required to do”. I suspect that the Heart of God is especially touched by works of supererogation! It’s sort of like this: You find, when you come home from work, that your kids had spent a few hours cleaning and straightening up the basement storage area — a job that you hadn’t assigned them to do. And they did a beautiful job! How would you feel towards them for doing that? That’s sort of how God feels towards persons who do supererogation! So, how about doing some supererogating on Monday and Tuesday?

HOW TO AVOID PURGATORY OR, AT THE VERY LEAST, TO MAKE IT AS SHORT AS POSSIBLE
If there is any human person towards whom you have angry, bitter or hostile feelings, such that you make it a point to avoid him, so as not to have to say “good morning” to him, you would be well advised to make peace with that person before you die because, if you don’t, you will suffer absolutely excruciating agony in Purgatory. This agony will be such that no pain you have experienced in this life will be able to compare with it.
I tell you in the Name of God, that you had better stop avoiding him and that you had better force yourself to approach him and to extend the hand of friendship and reconciliation. There is not a whole lot of time left for any of us in this life. Judgment Day is coming and it is not far off. We have to stop rationalizing and defending ourselves and resisting the clear admonitions of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Jesus said: "You have heard that it was said to your ancestors, 'You shall not kill; and whoever kills will be liable to judgment.' But I say to you, whoever is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment, and whoever says to his brother, 'Raqa,' will be answerable to the Sanhedrin, and whoever says, 'You fool,' will be liable to fiery Gehenna. Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar, and there recall that your brother has anything against you ,leave your gift there at the altar, go first and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Settle with your opponent quickly while on the way to court with him. Otherwise your opponent will hand you over to the judge, and the judge will hand you over to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison. Amen, I say to you, you will not be released until you have paid the last penny. (Matthew 5,21-26)

stjos/stvdp: 10.31.2010 - 03


ELECTION DAY: TUESDAY, 02 NOVEMBER 2010

Please note that St. Joseph Parish and St. Vincent dePaul Parish neither endorse nor oppose any political party or any candidate for public office.
We simply inform our readers as to whether a particular candidate has been endorsed or opposed by non-Church related PRO-LIFE organizations and, for that reason, might reasonably be considered “PRO-LIFE” or “PRO-ABORTION”.
We cannot separate morality from politics.
Since morality is a subdivision of religion, then we have to conclude that we cannot separate religion from politics.
Anyone who tells you otherwise is not thinking clearly.
While it is true that faithful Catholics can have widely divergent views on such matters as “how to handle the economy” or “how to conduct foreign policy” or “how to structure the tax code” or “how to handle our natural resources”, it is NOT true that faithful Catholics can have widely divergent views on such matters as whether the unborn child has a God-given right to life or whether marriage is to be understood as being a relationship between one man and one woman.
With this in mind, we rate the principal candidates for public office whose names will appear on the ballot in our area on 02 November 2010.

GOVERNOR OF PENNSYLVANIA
Tom Corbett (R): Endorsed by Pennsylvania Pro-Life Federation.
Dan Onorato (D): Opposed by Pennsylvania Pro-Life Federation

Mr. Corbett is in favor of prohibiting state taxpayer dollars from being used to fund elective abortions.
Mr. Onorato declined to take a position.
Mr. Corbett is in favor of legislation that would provide women with an opportunity to view an ultrasound of their preborn child before an abortion.
Mr. Onorato declined to take a position.
Mr. Corbett is in favor of banning the use of state tax dollars for research that destroys human embryos.
Mr. Onorato declined to take a position.
Mr. Corbett is in favor of funding Pregnancy Counseling Centers that provide alternatives to abortion and do not counsel or refer for abortions.
Mr. Onorato declined to take a position.

UNITED STATES SENATOR FROM PENNSYLVANIA
Pat Toomey (R): Endorsed by Pennsylvania Pro-Life Federation
Joe Sestak (D): Opposed by Pennsylvania Pro-Life Federation

Mr. Toomey is in favor of retaining the Hyde Amendment, which prohibits taxpayer funding of abortions.
Mr. Sestak is in favor of overturning the Hyde Amendment, which prohibits taxpayer funding of abortions.
Mr. Toomey is in favor of prohibiting the destruction of living human embryos in medical research.
Mr. Sestak opposes any prohibition on the destruction of living human embryos in medical research.
Mr. Toomey supports banning foreign aid to overseas organizations that perform or promote abortions.
Mr. Sestak opposes banning foreign aid to overseas organizations that perform or promote abortion.

stjos/stvdp: 10.31.2010 - 04


MEMBER OF CONGRESS: 17th CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICT

Dave Argall (R) vs Tim Holden (D)

I am not aware of any statement by the Pennsylvania Pro-Life Federation endorsing or opposing either of these candidates.
I can point out the following for the guidance of the reader:
Both Mr. Argall and Mr. Holden support legislation that would prohibit federal funding of abortions. This is a PRO-LIFE position.

Both Mr. Argall and Mr. Holden support legislation that would prohibit federal agencies from discriminating against health-care providers who do not perform or participate in abortions. This is a PRO-LIFE position. Mr. Argall opposes embryonic stem cell research. This is a PRO-LIFE position. Mr. Holden supports embryonic stem cell research. This is PRO-ABORTION position. Mr. Argall opposes efforts to make “sexual orientation” or “gender identity” a protected class, along with “race, religion, sex, etc”. This is a PRO-TRADITIONAL MORALITY position. Mr. Holden supports efforts to make “sexual orientation” or “gender identity” a protected class, along with “race, religion, sex, etc”. This is an ANTI-TRADITIONAL MORALITY position. Both Mr. Argall and Mr. Holden oppose overturning the federal Defense of Marriage Act. This is a PRO-TRADITIONAL MORALITY position.


Summary: Mr. Argall is PRO-LIFE on three out of three issues, whereas Mr. Holden is PRO-LIFE on two but PRO-ABORTION on one. Mr. Argall is PRO-TRADITIONAL MORALITY on two out of two issues, whereas Mr. Holden is PRO-TRADITIONAL MORALITY on one and ANTI-TRADITIONAL MORALITY on the other.

PENNSYLVANIA HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES: 123rd District

Ettore DiCasimirro (R) vs Neal Goodman (D)

Mr. DiCasimirro responded to questions put to him by the Pennsylvania Catholic Conference. Some of his answers were PRO-LIFE and some were PRO-ABORTION.
Mr. Goodman did not respond to the questions.
Summary: Ambiguous!

PENNSYLVANIA HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES: 124th District

Jerry Knowles (R) vs Jeffrey Faust (D)

Mr. Knowles responded to questions put to him by the Pennsylvania Catholic Conference. His answers were PRO-LIFE.
Mr. Faust did not respond to the questions.
Summary: Mr. Knowles publicly identifies himself as PRO-LIFE.

PENNSYLVANIA HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES: 125th District
Mike Tobash (R) vs Tim Seip (D)
Neither Mr. Tobash nor Mr. Seip responded to the questions.
Summary: Ambiguous!

*********************************************************************************************
In the Thunder / Enlightning feature in the Saturday (30 Oct) edition of the Pottsville Republican, someone called in with a brief question as to whether Jesus would be a Democrat or a Republican. I am happy to answer that question for the caller!
Here is the answer: Jesus is neither Democrat nor Republican! Jesus is Pro-Life. He votes for whichever candidate is Pro-Life, regardless of party. Next question???

stjos/stvdp: 10.31.2010 - 05


THE CONFIRMATI!
Here is a list of the children on whom Bishop John O. Barres conferred the Sacrament of Confirmation in St. Joseph Church on Thursday, 28 October 2010: twelve girls and seventeen boys!
Next week, if all works out according to plan, we hope to run some photographs of these handsome / beautiful kids in the bulletin.

1. DAVID, Ashley L.
2. GRADY, Angel E.
3. GREGAS, Carly J.
4. GREGAS, Leanna
5. McDONALD, Maura
6. PRYCE, Alexis
7. ROCHE, Alexis K.
8. SHEIPE, Cheyenne M.
9. SHEIPE, Sarah L.
10. WEIDNER, Madelyn C.
11. WIXTED, Megan M.
12. ZAK, Victoria T.

 

 

 

 1. BUDNAVAGE, Tyler V.
2. CRESS, Caleb J.
3. DONMOYER, Jordan M.
4. FLANNERY, Robert S.
5. GRADY, Timothy J.
6. KLEEMAN, Anthony J.
7. KLEEMAN, Christian K.
8. O’DONNELL, Kieran W.
9. PRYCE, Gage
10. RICHARDS, Noah M.
11. RIZZARDI, Thomas J.
12. ROBERTS, Michael W.
13. SHALAMANDA, Stephen J.
14. SMITH, Jonathan T.
15. WEIDNER, Nathan P.
16. WENDLING, Anthony J.
17. WILEY, David M

THANK YOU!

There are so many persons who deserve to be thanked for all that they did in order to make our Confirmation (and what preceded and followed it) so beautiful and memorable!
I am tempted to try to put their names in the bulletin but I know, from experience, that I would be ill-advised to do so, for two reasons: (a) I would be sure to miss some names; (b) Some persons get bent out of shape if they find their names mentioned in the bulletin!
So, let me thank categories of persons: (a) all of those involved in CCD instruction, especially the Confirmation instructions; (b) the one who took care of ordering and returning the gowns; (c) the ones who cleaned St. Joseph Church and St. Joseph Rectory; (d) the ones who set up for the reception in St. Joseph Rectory and cleaned up afterwards; (e) those who prepared and served the delicious meal for the Bishop and the priests in St. Vincent dePaul Rectory and cleaned up afterwards; (f) the organists and members of the choir who sang so beautifully; (g) the lector and the servers of the Confirmation Mass; (h) the one who took the individual photos of the children.
This was Bishop Barres’s first visit to our Girardville parishes. As we were standing in the back of St. Joseph Church, prior to going up the aisle, he asked me about the structural soundness of the church. I assured him that, to the very best of my knowledge, it is a rock-solid church as far as structure is concerned.
As we were leaving StVdP Rectory (where we had the dinner), I asked him to step inside St. Vincent dePaul Church. We went in together and he walked up the aisle, knelt down and said a prayer. He commented to me on the beauty of the church.

stjos/stvdp: 10.31.2010 - 06


DONORS TO THE 2010 BISHOPS ANNUAL APPEAL

SAINT JOSEPH PARISH

01. BANN, Charles
02. BARBER, Marie A.
03. BURNS, John
04. BYRNE, William and Nora
05. CHAPMAN, Christopher J.
06. CHUPASKO, Bernadine Ranieri
07. CLARKE, Thomas
08. CONNOLLY, Edward B.
09. DeLUCA, Celeste
10. DEVANEY, Lorraine Cuff
11. DEVINE, Dennis
12. DOUGHERTY, Margaret
13. FATULA, Irene
14. FISHER, Evelyn
15. FRIGONE, Rita
16. GILLIS, John M. and Mary Theresa
17. GOWER, Thomas and Jean
18. HOUSER, Catherine Kennedy
19. ANONYMOUS
20. KELLY, Arthur J.
21. KOWALICK, Patricia Reiley
22. KULL, Barbara Rehnert
23. LEINENBACH, Robert and Donna
24. McCARTHY, Philip D.
25. McCARTHY, Stephen
26. MILLER, Beverly Ann
27. MOHAN, Francis P. MD and Stella
28. MORAN, Elizabeth
29. MURRAY, Mary E.
30. NEARY, James and Teresa
31. O’DONNELL, Margaret Lenahan
32. PIKITUS, John and Helen
33. PRYCE, Agnes E.
34. ROWLAND, Eileen
35. SMALLWOOD, Rose Marie Brennan
36. SMITH, Frank and Phyllis
37. SMITH, Robert and Anna
38. TARONE, Joseph Tarone
39. WAYNE, Henry and Eileen
40. WAYNE, Kenneth and Anna Mae
41. WAYNE, Raymond and Rose Ann
42. WEIST, Jean Birster
43. YACKENCHICK, Albert J. Sr. and Annetta
44. YURENKA, Argia A.

 ST. VINCENT dePAUL PARISH

01. BOZYLINSKI, Robert
02. BREHM, Mr. and Mrs. Patrick
03. CHALINSKY, Stephen and Lisa
04. CHIKOTAS, Anna Ginaitis
05. CHIPLONIA, Mary Nicastro
06. CHIPLONIA, Ralph and Debra
07. CIKANOVICH, Peter
08. CONNELL, James Jr. and Georgann
09. CONNELL, Marilyn
10. FAUST, William E.
11. GETZEY, Robert and Denise
12. GREGIS, John
13. GUDONIS, Joseph and Theresa
14. HALUSKA, John and Gloria
15. HOLY NAME SOCIETY
16. HOLY ROSARY SOCIETY
17. IVES, Karen Paulosky
18. KARAVAGE, John and Lisa
19. KENNEDY, James and Nancy
20. KRICK, Carole Anne Doraski
21. KUDRICK, Catherine
22. LABIE, Edna Fetterolf
23. LANG, Jean Albo
24. McANDREW, Ann
25. MEDLINSKY, Elizabeth
26. PAULOSKY, Diana
27. PAULUKONIS, Eugene and Janet
28. PETROUSKY, John and Barbara
29. POPECK, Frank and Rose
30. POWLICK, Adele
31. SCROBOL, George
32. SELGRADE, Robert and Ellen
33. SHERMAN, Charles and Kathy
34. SMOLOCK, John and Joan
35. SMOLOCK, Peter and Violet
36. STRONY, Mr. and Mrs. Stephen
37. THYE, David and Susan
38. THYE, James A.
39. VABOLIS, John and Ann
40. VITALE, Marie Jeanette Winkler
41. WASCAVAGE, Edward and Barbara
42. WINKLER, Helen

 

BISHOP’S ANNUAL APPEAL: PROGRESS REPORT
ST. JOSEPH PARISH, GIRARDVILLE ST. VINCENT DE PAUL PARISH, GIRARDVILLE

stjos/stvdp: 10.31.2010 - 07


THE MIDDLE EAST MEDIA RESEARCH INSTITUTE (MEMRI) has released excerpts from a transcript of a televised sermon by Egyptian cleric Salem Abu Al-Futuh. Airing on Al-Nas TV on 18 August 2010, Al-Futuh predicted that Islam would conquer the entire West, starting with Italy and ending with the Americas.
According to MEMRI, Al-Futuh stated the following:

The nation of Islam will return, despite our current crisis and despite the arrogance of the West. The West is bound to be destroyed. Just as Allah destroyed the Byzantine and Persian empires, he will destroy the West at the hands of the Muslims. This is an unequivocal promise. These countries will convert to Islam. Islam will reach these countries. Let us examine the divine sequence: First, the Caliphate will return. Then, the Muslims will live in tremendous prosperity. The economy of the Muslims will be the strongest of all. You are probably thinking that I'm not well today if I say such things. By God, there's nothing wrong with me! I am speaking words of truth. Great conquests will ensue! We will conquer Italy. By Allah, we will conquer Italy! By Allah, we will conquer Italy and move into the rest of Europe! Islam will enter that entire region. Even America, you ask? Yes, even America! North or South America? Both North and South America! We will enter all these countries, and people there will be joining Islam in droves!"

WE SHARE THE MAIL
I have written a letter to Imam Salem Abu Al-Futuh and, as soon as I can find his mailing address, shall take same to the Post Office. Perhaps you would like to read it.

To: Imam Salem Abu Al-Futuh
From: Rev. Edward B. Connolly
Date: 27 October 2010
Re: your sermon of 18 August 2010
Reverend and Dear Imam:
I was not present in the mosque when you delivered the sermon cited above, nor was I able to listen to your sermon on television. Most of the religious telecasting that I watch is carried by the Eternal Word Television Network (EWTN). As far as I know, Mother Angelica does not carry your sermons on her network. You might want to speak with her about the possibility of getting some of your orations onto EWTN in the future. But I must caution you that Mother Angelica is one tough cookie, so you will have to turn on all of your charm in order to sell her on the project.
Allow me, please, to react to your sermon. Understand that I do not wish to be disagreeable, let alone disrespectful, but I must confess that just reading your sermon has put me a smidgen on edge and made me a tad apprehensive.
As a loyal American — “born in the USA” as we sometimes say — I am all in favor of religious liberty. I believe in the right of people to preach and to practice their religion, whatever it might be, and to try to persuade others to do the same. It is not, however, part of the “American Way” — nor is it part of our “Catholic Way” — to bop people over the head, let alone cut off their heads (yuk!) or otherwise gravely incapacitate them if they do not join our religion or endorse our principles. As firmly as I believe in Jesus and in the Catholic Church, I would definitely draw a line at killing a person who refused to believe in Him or refused to join the Catholic Church. On a bad day, I might frown at such a person and maybe even scold him, but I wouldn’t kill him! No, no, no! Definitely not kill him! Killing is a bad thing to do, in addition to which it is not nice! I’m sure Allah would agree.
Now, please correct me if I am wrong, but it seems that, in your sermon, you are at least implicitly endorsing the possibility that a Muslim army of sorts might be headed for North America in order to force the locals to convert to the Islamic faith and, of course, there is the implied threat of killing! It is precisely that element of “force” that troubles me.
If you were to arrive on our shores with eloquent preachers, persuasive words, free copies of the Quran and, maybe, some free soup and sandwiches to accompany your seminars, I would not object. I would probably disagree with 90% of your message, but would “defend with my life” your constitutional right to promote it!
I don’t know how much geography you know but you probably know that the United States of America comprises fifty states (plus the District of Columbia and a few territories). One of these states is Pennsylvania, which comprises sixty-seven counties. You probably don’t know that one of these counties is Schuylkill and that one of the finest towns in Schuylkill is Girardville.
It just so happens that yours truly has the honor of being the current “imam” (pastor) of the Catholic population of Girardville. Part of my imamic (pastoral) responsibility — just in case a Muslim army were to threaten Girardville — would be to organize the resistance. I don’t believe in unnecessary violence, so I am hoping that, once the Catholic people of Girardville make it perfectly clear to you that we are determined not to exchange Jesus for Muhammad, you will respect our decision and withdraw your troops. We Catholics of Girardville prefer not to hurt your guys and we sure don’t want you to hurt our guys!
You might wonder where you could lodge your guys once you withdraw from Girardville. I might suggest that you march them east on Route 54 (aka “the high road”) over to Shenandoah. I’m sure the folks there would be willing to put you up for a few days until you arrange for transportation back to the Middle East.
By the way, Shenandoah is famous for its kielbasa, pierogies and blini! Your men will not go hungry and they might even want to order some extras to take back home with them.
Now please — and I do mean PLEASE — don’t interpret our resistance as any kind of insult or disrespect for the Prophet Muhammad. I’m sure the Prophet was a fine fellow in his own way and sincere as all get out. I wish him all the best. I have read all of his main material (the Quran) and I do find some interesting and even edifying passages in it. Nevertheless, the hearts of the people of Girardville belong to Jesus and we have already made an inalterable commitment to Him as our Lord and Savior.
Maybe, at some time in the future, you might want to learn more about Jesus. If so, don’t hesitate to let me know.
Very truly yours,
EBC

tjos/stvdp: 10.31.2010 - 08

 

 

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