MASS SCHEDULE: 13 JULY - 20 JULY
SAINT
JOSEPH CHURCH

Saturday, 12 July
Vigil of Sunday
04:30 p.m. - ANTHONY J. LUPPINO
by his sons and his grandchildren

Sunday, 13 July
15th Sunday of Ordinary Time
07:45 a.m. - LOUIS and MARY TROILO
by Tina and Liz
10:45 a.m. - PARISHIONERS: StJosPar / StFdSPar
by EBC

Monday, 14 July
Bl. Kateri Tekakwitha, virgin (OblMem)
12:05 p.m. - HARRY O. LILLEY
by his son, Harry, and daughter-in-law, Rosa

SAINT FRANCIS deSALES CHURCH

Saturday, 12 July
Vigil of Sunday
06:00 p.m. - In Thanksgiving for Answered Prayer
(safe return of Charles J. Cescon from Iraq)
by Joseph T. Cescon and family

Sunday, 13 July
15th Sunday in Ordinary Time
09:15 a.m. - DICK YUENGLING Sr.
by Nancy Dunbrowney Haag
12:15 p.m. - PARISHIONERS: StJosPar / StFdSPar
by EBC

SAINT PATRICK CHURCH

Tuesday, 15 July
St. Bonaventure, bishop, doctor (OblMem)
06:30 a.m. - JAMES F. and MARY ELLEN EAGAN
by bequest
08:00 a.m. - PAT EVANS LORD
by Bill and Dot Elison

Wednesday, 16 July
Our Lady of Mount Carmel (OptMem)
06:30 a.m. - MILDRED A. SMITH
by bequest
08:00 a.m. - MICHAEL J. DeSTEFANO
by Richard and Melissa DeStefano

Thursday, 17 July
Weekday
06:30 a.m. - EDWARD and MARY GORMAN
by Mary Louise McGinley and family
08:00 a.m. - FRANCIS A. KALYAN
by his wife, Rose

Friday, 18 July
St. Camillus deLellis, priest (OptMem)
06:30 a.m. - MERVYN and AGNES GOTTSCHALL
by bequest
08:00 a.m. - THOMAS and JOSEPH HOBBS
by bequest

Saturday, 19 July
Weekday
08:00 a.m. - BERNIA ZUBERBUHRLER
by Elizabeth Ely
Vigil of Sunday
04:15 p.m. - MATTHEW J. SOPHY
by Ann McKeown and family
06:00 p.m. - JANE F. DRIES
by Mary Dries

Sunday, 20 July
16th Sunday of Ordinary Time
07:30 a.m. - MEMBERS: StPat Memorial Fund
by Pastor
09:30 a.m. - DANIEL C. DEAN
by bequest
11:00 a.m. - PARISHIONERS: StPatPar
by Pastor

stjos/stfds: 07.13.2008 - 01


 

 LAST WEEKEND'S COLLECTION TOTALS:
05 / 06 JULY

Saint Joseph Parish
$1,302.00
from the envelopes and $118.00 from the plate. Thank you.
When one deducts from the sum of these two figures, $1,420.00 the parish's weekly financial obligation to the Diocese, i.e. assessments, $410.08 plus the weekly premiums for property and liability insurance, $160.01, the sum of which is $570.09, plus its weekly obligation to All Saints School, $941.06 the sum total of which is $1,511.15, one sees that ($91.15) of this collection is available for operating the parish. This is a deficit!

Saint Francis deSales Parish
$127.00
from the envelopes and $78.65 from the plate. Thank you.
When one deducts from the sum of these two figures, $205.65 the parish's weekly financial obligation to the Diocese, i.e. assessments, $46.15 plus the weekly premiums for property and liability insurance, $60.67, the sum of which is $106.82, plus its weekly obligation to All Saints School, $188.21, the sum total of which is $295.03, one sees that ($89.38) of this collection is available for operating the parish.This is a deficit!

 

 RECENT OUTCOMES OF CALENDAR OF EVENTS
 Saturday

 05 July

 #687
Tina Z won the $100.00
 Sunday

 06 July

 #176
Joan & Jean  won the 150.00
 Monday

 07 July

 #195
Barbara K won the $50.00
 Tuesday

08 July

 #265
H B. won the $50.00
 Wednesday

09 July

 #394
Nobody won the $50.00
 
 

For outcomes from 10 to 13 July, call St. Joseph Rectory.
For outcomes after 13 July, call St. Patrick Rectory!

stjos/stfds: 07.13.2008 - 02


 

REALLY BAD JOKES

Where do you find elephants?
It depends on where you lost them.

Why do elephants wear blue tennis shoes?
Because the white ones get dirty too fast.

Why do elephants live in herds?
To get a wholesale reduction on the blue tennis shoes.

Why do elephants float on their backs?
So they don't get their tennis shoes wet.

What goes clomp,clomp,clomp, squish,clomp,clomp,clomp, wish..?
An elephant with a wet tennis shoe!

How many elephants can you fit in a taxi?
Four. (One next to the driver and 3 in back)

How many giraffes can you fit in a taxi?
None, it's full of elephants.

How do you know when an elephant is visiting your house?
There's a taxi outside with three elephants in it.

How do you put an elephant into refrigerator?
Open door, put elephant in, close door.

How do you put a giraffe into refrigerator?
Open door, get elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.

Why are there so many elephants running around free in the
jungle?
Fridge isn't large enough to hold them all.

How do elephants get up into oak trees?
They sit on an acorn and wait.

How do elephants get down from oak trees?
They sit on a leaf and wait for autumn.

Why do elephants have flat feet?
From jumping out of oak trees - they're impatient!

Why do elephants wear blue tennis shoes?
To soften their landing when they jump out of oak trees.

stjos/stfds: 07.13.2008 - 03


HAPPY BIRTHDAY

14 July
Melissa Kalyan Chewey
Shannon McElhenny Hullihan
Mark A. Iacobacci
Rose M. Mercuri
Antoinette Osborne
Trinity G. Reedy
Bernard J. Visnefski Jr.

15 July
Donald C. Frantz II
Anne Williams Moore

16 July
Gerard J. Fabiani
James Garland
Anthony J. Trabosh

17 July
Yvonne K. Miller
Elizabeth Ketrick Murgido

18 July
Vincent A. Albo
Elizabeth Jacey Martinson
Gino P. Ricigliano
Emily E. Shappell

19 July
None, as far as we know.

20 July
None, as far as we know.

 

COMMENT ON ABOVE
A question came to my mind as I was typing up the birthday list for this bulletin (the final bulletin). The question was this: Do I have the canonical right to wish "Happy Birthday" in the parish bulletin to persons who will have their birthdays after 14 July, inasmuch as I shall cease to be their pastor at midnight between 14 and 15 July? The question is not whether I have a personal right to wish them a "Happy Birthday". I certainly have that! The question is whether I have a canonical right to wish them a "Happy Birthday" and to do so in the parish bulletin.
Whenever I am uncertain, I consult with
Kateri, the Parish Cat. She has a lot of practical wisdom and knows a bit about Canon Law. When I asked her if it would be okay for me to wish the 15 to 20 July BD people a Happy Birthday in the bulletin, she looked at me and said, quite confidently, "Meow". I interpreted this as meaning "Sure, why not? Just do it and be done with it! If you get any flak from the Front Office, refer them to me!"

stjos/stfds: 07.13.2008 - 04


 

WE SHARE THE MAIL
A friend of mine sent me an email that was attached to a news story from Yahoo.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080703/ap_en_ot/bba_yankees_rodriguez
The headline on the story was this: Alex Rodriguez has split from wife.
Here is my summary of that news story:
New York Yankees star
Alex Rodriguez and his wife, Cynthia Scurtis, have separated amid allegations that Alex has been unfaithful. Upon separating from him, Cynthia went to visit Lenny Kravitz. This fomented a rumor that Cynthia and Lenny were having an affair! Lenny's response to this rumor was as follows: "I opened my home to her as a friend and I find it extremely hurtful that I am now being referred to as an adulterer."
Here is the exchange of emails.

Dear Father Connolly:
This is completely frivolous on the surface but I did find one interesting point in this story. Alex Rodriguez is a known adulterer and the story does not surprise me, but what I did find interesting was the denial by Lenny Kravitz (rock star) in which he used the word "adulterer". The fact that he used the word lends some credibility to his denial. I also like the fact that he used the proper term. Just as we said yesterday that to be anti-grammar is to be antinomian, so I think using euphemisms are also antinomian. Lenny Kravitz gets a star in my book for using the proper word.
Christopher

Dear Christopher:
Thanks for passing on this information. I agree that it is refreshing when sin is identified as such. Apparently - and thanks be to God for it - Lenny Kravitz has not committed the sin against the Holy Ghost.
Here is an interesting tidbit: Did you know that there is a sentence tattooed on Lenny Kravitz's back? Inquiring minds want to know what that sentence is!
The sentence is as follows:
MY HEART BELONGS TO JESUS CHRIST.
Although no fan of tattoos, I have to admit that that particular one is kind of endearing. Inspired by Lenny, I am thinking of having a sentence tattooed on MY back. It will read as follows:
JESUS CHRIST HAS MY BACK.
EBC

stjos/stfds: 07.13.2008 - 05



OLIVIA FAITH LESHER,
first child of John and Angela (Walters-Peiffer) Lesher, will be baptized today (Sunday) in St. Joseph Church.
[While Olivia Faith is John's first child, she is Angela's third child. Angela has two sons from her marriage to the late David A. Peiffer Jr.]
By means of this baptism:
Olivia Faith will be born again.
The stain of Adam's sin will be removed from her.
The promise will be given her that God will forgive her whatever personal sins she might commit, provided she turns to Him.
She becomes a daughter of God the Father, a sister of God the Son, a temple of the Holy Spirit.
She becomes eligible for eternal life.
She becomes a member of the Catholic Church, which is the Mystical Body of Christ.
We welcome Olivia Faith into the community of the redeemed. May her parents have wisdom and faith to raise her in a way that is in keeping with today's great event.

This will be the final baptism in the history of our parish.

stjos/stfds:07.13.2008 - 06


 

KINDNESS TEST

#1 - Do you listen patiently when someone launches for the fifth time into the same tired old story or the same stale jokes?
Usually Sometimes Rarely

#2 - When people begin to gossip, do you make strenuous efforts to change the subject quickly?
Usually Sometimes Rarely

#3 - When someone insults you, do you - before you respond to the insult - call to mind how many times God has forgiven you, and then resolve to be just as forgiving?
Usually Sometimes Rarely

#4 - When you're not sure about another person's motives, do you assume that his motives are good until you have evidence otherwise?
Usually Sometimes Rarely

#5 - Do you make efforts to be reconciled with persons who have wronged you?
Usually Sometimes Rarely

#6 - Do you try to suppress those sarcastic remarks that leap into your mind?
Usually Sometimes Rarely

#7 - When others anger you, do you start praying for them immediately, before you find yourself brooding about how they've wronged you?
Usually Sometimes Rarely

#8 - Are you as polite to the members of your own family as you are to strangers?
Usually Sometimes Rarely

Give yourself two points for each "Usually", one point for each "Sometimes" and, of course, zero points for each "Rarely".

stjos/stfds: 07.13.2008 - 07



Your Score

14 - 16
Wow! You are really kind! Would it be okay with you if I stop in to talk with you once in a while? I could use a few pointers.
10 - 12
Well, I would say that you are pretty kind. You're not a candidate for canonization yet, but you might be on the way.
6-8
You could be worse, but you must admit you could be a whole lot better.
2-4
Would I be correct if I were to guess that people sometimes look the other way when you walk into the room?
0
May I respectfully suggest that you check yourself into a Kindness Rehab Center? Better yet, go find a competent spiritual director and do whatever he tells you.

P.S.
#1 - If the thought comes into your head that the priest who put this test into the parish bulletin has a lot of chutzpah, because he himself is very unkind and ought to take the beam out of his own eye before trying to remove the specks from his parishioners' eyes, please deduct four points from your final score, because that is very unkind!
#2 - If you did poorly in this Kindness Test, please do not take it unkindly.

stjos/stfds: 07.13.2008 - 08


THE FINAL FIRST HOLY COMMUNION

MARIA CHRISTINA GONTIS, a daughter of James and Eva (Zemanek) Gontis, received the Holy Eucharist for the first time. For St. Joseph Parish, it was "a last time". This milestone event took place on Friday, 4 July 2008, in St. Joseph Church, during the 12:05 p.m. Mass. It was the First Friday of the month of July.
What is the Holy Eucharist?
The Holy Eucharist is the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Jesus Christ under the appearances of bread and wine.

The beautiful body and soul of this young girl, which had become the dwelling place of God the Third Person at the time of her baptism, have now become likewise the dwelling place of God the Second Person.
When God the Holy Spirit made His initial descent upon Maria a few years ago at St. Francis deSales Church, He did so in order to prepare her for the coming of God the Son.
Reception of the Holy Eucharist is a complement to the reception of Baptism.
God now dwells in Maria Christina not only in His Divine Nature but also in His Human Nature.
He wants to take her humanity and unite it to His own humanity.

By His dying, He shall destroy her death.
By His rising, He shall restore her life.
Lord Jesus, come in glory!

****************************************************************************************
May God bless and preserve in His love all who have ever made their First Holy Communion in St. Joseph Church or in St. Francis deSales Church. Indeed, may God bless and preserve in His love all those thousands and thousands of persons who - since 1842 in the case of St. Joseph Church or 1921 in the case of St. Francis deSales Church - ever received the Lord Jesus into their hearts in our dear little churches.

stjos/stfds: 07.13.2008 - 09


HOW TO MAKE A SUCCESSFUL TRANSITION
from Saint Francis deSales Parish and Saint Joseph Parish
to
Saint Patrick Parish
SOME PRACTICAL PASTORAL POINTERS
To tell you the truth, the most practical thing I can think of to tell you is
HOW TO GET TO SAINT PATRICK CHURCH.
Once you actually get there, everything else will fall into place.

Walking directions from the St. Joseph Parish Parking Lot
The St. Joseph Parish Parking Lot is located at Fourth Street and Schuylkill Avenue. Walk out of the lot onto Fourth Street (not Schuylkill Avenue). As you do so, turn right and follow the force of gravity as it pulls you north on Fourth. Briefly contemplate the fact that "north" rhymes with "Fourth". Come to a complete halt at Howard Avenue. Trucks come rolling out of Mr. Yuengling's Brewery, and it would not look good in your obituary if it were noted that you went back to God as a result of being hit by a beer truck. Details like that can be misconstrued and could even put your canonization on indefinite hold. Having looked every which way, cross diagonally onto the southeast corner of Fourth and Howard and continue to obey the Law of Gravity as it takes you a few more yards right into the walkway that leads you to the side door of St. Patrick Church. Walk in, genuflect and find yourself a pew. Don't act weird or shy or apologetic. Act like you belonged there all your life! St. Patrick's is very fortunate to have you.

Driving directions from the St. Francis deSales Parish Parking Lot
The St. Francis deSales Parish Parking Lot is located between the church and the (former) Mount Carbon Brewery. As you back out of the lot - and we caution you to be very attentive to the traffic on Main Street as you do so - turn the steering wheel in such a way that your vehicle is pointing East. You will know you are pointing east if the church is now on your Right.

stjos/stfds: 07.13.2008 - 10


 

Proceed slowly east on Main Street. Be cautious as you pass Forest Road (on your right). You have the right of way, but it is always a good idea to make certain that no Forest Hiller, barreling down the hill, loses his or her brakes and plows through the STOP sign. Continue to the next intersection, which is Centre Street. You will know it is Centre Street if you see Adelphia Seafood on your left, Pottsville Pizzeria on your right and railroad tracks straight ahead. Reflect briefly on the strange fact that The City Fathers of Old decided to spell the name of the street according to the British manner of spelling, viz. Centre, as opposed to Center. This has always been a source of wonderment to me. Be that as it may, don't reflect or wonder too long about this matter because you are going to need to have all your wits about you as you make a left turn onto Centre Street and - take my word for it - it is a left turn to be reckoned with. Look both ways and proceed with utmost caution! You don't want to meet your MAKER before your MAKER wants to meet you. You are now moving North on Centre Street. Here are a few (not all) of the places you will pass: Wehr's Garage on your right (feel free to wave to Lee or Doug if they are standing outside); the YWCA and the E.U. Methodist Church on your left; AAA of Schuylkill County on your right; Mootz Candy on your right (feel free to stop in and buy a box of candy for your new pastor, Msgr. O'Connor); a Tattoo Parlor on your left (say a prayer for the poor pathetic painted people of the world and them what paint them). When you come to Trinity Episcopal (on your left), turn left. You are now going West on Howard Avenue. Soon, you will see what used to be St. Joseph Church on your left. When you see it, shed a silent tear and say a prayer - but only one tear and only one prayer because you will now have to come to a complete stop at the STOP sign. Look both ways. When it's clear, turn left. Then turn left again into the parking lot, park your vehicle and follow the walking directions as printed above.

stjos/stfds: 07.13.2008 - 11


 

CONTRIBUTORS TO BISHOP'S ANNUAL APPEAL 2008

Please note:
We depend on the BAA Office in Allentown for updates. We do not receive this information with maximum promptness. It is quite possible that your name is not on this list, even though it should be. If that be so, please let us know.

StJosPar
ACKER, Mary Elizabeth Troilo
ALFONSI, Andy / Mary Clare
BARBETTA, Caroline A. (+)
BARONE, Angelo / Kay
BUTERA, Ralph / Kathleen
CERULLO, William J.
CHALINSKY, Jeanette Ciorlanti
CHIODO, John D.
CHIODO, Mary J.
CONNOLLY, Edward B.
DERAMO, Anthony N.
DeSTEFANO, Andy / Loreta
DiCELLO, Katherine Owens
ECKLEY, Henry / Peggy
FRINZI, Joseph / Sandra
GARLAND, James / Patricia
GETZEY, Robert / Denise
HANLON, Gregory / Aleece
HOFFECKER, Victoria LaPlaca
KEVY, Phyllis C.
KRIZNO, John J.
KUTCH, John / Patricia
KUTCH, Philomena Genovese
LAPLACA, Julia Senitch
LEYMEISTER, Harvey / Doris
MATTERA, Frank / Camille

MODESTO, Salvatore / Mary
MOHAN, Francis / Stella
PALERINO, Joseph / Ann Marie
PASCUZZO, Albert / Martha
PICCIONI, Emidio A.
PILO, Anthony / Karen
PILO, Pasquale / Mary
POPECK, Frank / Rose
RIOTTO, Joseph R.
RUTECKY, William / Christine
SCHENCK, Thomas M.
THYE, David / Susan
THYE, James A.
StJosPar
Goal:          $11,748
So far           $6790
To go:          $4958

StFdSPar
BONCORE, Frank / Debra
WYCHUNAS, Gerald / Tina

StFdSPar
Goal:          $1,412
So far            $490
To go:           $922


stjos/stfds: 07.13.2008 - 12


CHARLES A. TAMBURELLI (known to one and all as "Chick") would like everyone to know that he is available to sing for weddings and funerals.
With that in mind, he asked me to let everyone know his telephone number:

(570) 544-5573

As I have often pointed out to Mr. Tamburelli, he is MUCH older than I am. Therefore - and I realize this it is somewhat indelicate (and even foolhardy) for me to say this - the actuarial tables indicate that he will probably kick the bucket before I do. Mr. Tamburelli is a former insurance agent and he knows all about actuarial tables! However, I would like it to be known that, just in case the Lord decides not to observe chronological order and calls me to my final reward before He calls him, I hereby invite Chick to sing Panis Angelicus at my funeral.

stjos/stfds: 07.13.2008 - 13


THIS IS MY LAST CHANCE to say a few things before shutting down this bulletin. It is at times like this that the words don't flow as freely as they might at other times. What do I want to say? Here are a few things:
#1 - I have been doing my best over the past few months to avoid being maudlin about the closing of the parishes. I saw the iceberg warnings years ago. I wasn't certain that I would still be the Captain of the Titanic at the time the berg would pierce the hull, but I suspected I would be and, as it turns out, I am. With that metaphor in mind, I have resigned myself to God's Difficult Will. I think the closing of the parishes is His permissive will, as opposed to His ideal Will. However, such theological matters are too weighty to deal with now - and we would probably never come to agreement on it anyway. One way or the other, I figured it would be wrong of me to do or say anything that would stir up discontent, fear or panic among the crew or the passengers. My vision of being a good pastor in these circumstances is standing bravely on the deck and sinking into the waves while the band plays "Nearer, My God, to Thee".
#2 - With all my heart, mind, soul and strength, I believe in God.
I trust God absolutely and without reservation. I believe in Jesus and His Holy Mother. I believe in the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church.
#3 - I am grateful beyond words to God that He allowed me to be a priest.
I consider it a great privilege to have been pastor of St. Joseph Parish for the past twenty-two years and of St. Francis deSales Parish for the past nineteen years. I love the people of my two parishes. I assure them that I shall never forget them. I look forward to seeing all of them in Heaven.
#4 - I ask forgiveness of those whom I have offended over the course of the years. I assure those who might possibly have offended me that I have long since gladly forgiven them and - in all honesty - have probably contracted amnesia about it!
And, finally, here come #5:

REMEMBER

LOT'S

WIFE!

stjos/stfds: 07.06.2008- 14


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